How To Build A Spiderweb

I've been busily working on my graduate school applications and am glad to say I'm almost there. I'm trying to get them all done before Halloween so that I can forward the recommendation forms to my professors.

Right now I feel pretty heartbroken that my religious vocation to the brotherhood thing didn't work out. I'm also heartbroken in the "regular way" because in the middle of all that, I'm trying to get over a literal person I spent four years pining over. That naturally ended up sabotaging my religious discernment because there was no way I could begin any official application while still dealing with this.

On the other hand, while working on my graduate school applications I felt a deep sense of joy while writing my personal statement because if there's one thing I've been most sure of, it's that I've wanted to enter this profession (clinical social work, counseling) since at least 8th or 9th grade. I think it's truly a gift from God to be able to see so clearly what feel called to do with our life. I want to help kids in high school because most of my hardest (and by consequence, formative) years were there along with the beginning of college.

I was telling my friend that the hardest thing about graduating college is that when we live in such an insulated environment like a residential college, our support system is as sturdy as a spider in the middle of a spiderweb. We're so interconnected (or threaded...lol) to other people on so many different levels (I can think of my cafeteria ladies, professors, RAs, friends, and campus ministry people) that when we trip we just end up bouncing up because the web is so sturdy.

When we leave, we're no longer in the center of the spiderweb but either at the periphery (hanging by whatever few "threads" or connections are left to the people we knew) or completely fallen off from it.

I think that's the main thing I'm working on now. When I went to visit a brother friend of mine at my high school the other day he told me I needed to focus on rebuilding my social network. In other words, not to go out there looking for a relationship, but rather, go out there and look to be relational. As much as I would like things to fit my timetable (must meet career goal by 25, meet someone by 30, etc.) or make up for the lost time of high school and college, we can't make things fall into place on our own time.