Saturday, November 14, 2009
Walling it Up
Friday, November 6, 2009
Hobo Shack
Monday, November 2, 2009
Masks and Mentors
Friday, October 30, 2009
Frivolous Risks
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
How To Build A Spiderweb
Monday, October 19, 2009
Don't Fit In
I'm back from my discernment retreat (I was on a discernment retreat for men interested in priesthood and brotherhood this weekend). It was mostly a good experience and I was grateful for the hospitality of the novices and the sense of fraternity among both the candidates (us) and the novices.
I had kind of been avoiding meeting with the vocation director most of the weekend, but bumped into him (which I don't think was a coincidence since I had just come down from my room after a frustrating attempt to focus and pray, and just feeling deep desolation) and we had a talk. We both decided it was best to not discern at this time. I don't know if he was only putting my application on hold for now, but I think my intention by that point was to completely terminate it.
Recently, I started going to this religious group for glbt Christians and while many of the people there are generally nice, I feel I don't fit in with gay people in general: the obsession with youth and beauty, people who were a little too upfront about their past sexual experiences, and the general campiness/flamboyance in public places was a little too much for me, more so in a religious setting where I was expecting less of it.
It's kind of a lonely place to be, because I feel I can't completely fit in within the Church nor within a gay environment.
I don't have the energy to write more so I'll just leave it there.