"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, or his ear too dull to hear, but your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear." - Isaiah 59:1-2One of my favorite saints, Thérèse of Lisieux, had a devotion to the Holy Face. In fact, she took the religious name Soeur Thérèse de l'enfant-Jésus de la sainte-face (Sister Thérèse of the child Jesus [and] the Holy Face) to honor both her devotion to the child-like Jesus as well as His Holy Face on the cross.
To us it may seem like overly superfluous or dramatic piety because we're so far apart from the religious environment of 19th Century France (and in her particular case, within one of the more austere orders of the Church), but I'm more overcome by curiosity as to why she would choose a devotion to Jesus' face.
If it were possible to look upon Jesus' face, I feel I couldn't be capable of doing so any more than I would be able to look in the face of a friend I have lied to or stolen from. It's almost easier to want to be obscured by the fog than gaze upon the face (even if the face is warm and welcoming to all, which despite occasional difficulty or doubt I believe it is), mainly because of the tendency to feel so bad and embarrassed and even wonder if you're a hopeless case.
This isn't meant as a guilt trip to anyone else, but it makes me understand the often criticized teaching of purgatory. Maybe purgatory isn't so much about proving God you're worthy of crossing over into heaven, but more so proving it to yourself. It would be hard to receive a gift you think you didn't deserve (no matter how great the gift), so even if God were dragging you into heaven, the shame would be too great to enter (there's a saying that we send ourselves to hell, not God). It is much more different when we're more disposed to receive the gift, when through suffering (most unfortunate but also most necessary for the eventual good end as Julian of Norwich might say) our heart has been melted into compassion and perspective and thus better able to receive love.
Then the fear of trying to reach out to God isn't because God is unwilling to help, but mainly because we're unwilling to believe we're worthy of help and let our face be further obscured from God. I'm not sure if I agree with the Isaiah passage about God not being able to hear because of sin (it sounds like the passage is warning the Israelites to be good or the cell phone signal to God will be cut!), but I do believe that because of sin (or just simple spiritual laziness) we hide ourselves from God and it seems like He becomes harder to find (as if He weren't elusive enough!).
Like a bright summer's day, one feels naked opening the curtain of great bright light shining on you (sometimes even want to curl back under the covers [by the way, random fact: I still sleep with blankets even in the summer]), but once you get yourself outside you wish the day never ends.
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