Candle

I haven't been able to get in much sleep at night because whenever the air conditioner is turned on for anything longer than 15 or 20 minutes, it shorts out the power in the room or the house (so now it's connected to a power strip.surge protector, which turns off in the equal amount of time).

I can't get to sleep until the early morning when the air seems its coolest. Sometimes I'm so restless I don't even bother going to bed in the morning, get dressed, and head to morning Mass at Joan of Arc. It's so comforting to sit in one of the corner pews near the back because the way the pew is behind one of the columns reminds me of the side choir chair/niches/cranny-things (whatever they're called) monasteries have.

I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the homily because all I could think about was a particular moment before Mass. Throughout a Catholic Mass the candles on the altar are lighted, a detail that I really don't notice anymore since I'm used to it. But this morning I really felt drawn in, almost hyper-focused on one of the candles.

I think it was because the candle reminded me about all the times I've shared with other people gathered around one, from high school retreats to college men's group gatherings, to sharing a lot of private stuff about my spiritual and personal life in one to ones and heart to hearts. Maybe it's also because a candle has a way of illuminating things in silence.

It was a moment of peace.

P.S. I found the weirdest thing in a hymnal. It was like a packet with some brown fluid and a picture of a mouse cartoon in the front. I closed it and put it back.