Chastity and celibacy are used interchangeably but in Church speak, everyone is called to chastity, i.e. appropriately full expression of sexuality (a term having a fuller definition than just the physical aspect of it) according to one's 'state' in life: single, married, consecrated (sisters/nuns and brothers/monks), and clergy. In other words, it's possible to have celibacy (abstention from sex) without chastity, and possible to have chastity without celibacy (such as in the case of a married couple).
In the following comment Sister Hildegard talks about the supernatural property of the vow (deeper/closer relationship with Jesus), its practicality (radical availability to others and different ministires that married life would not allow or would at least limit), and its realities (i.e. the vow of celibacy not negating the fact that people are biologically wired for sex and romantic love, feelings that may surface even after vows though don't necessarily negate one's vocation).
------------------------------------------------------------
“While every vocational choice of the baptized person requires obedience to faithfulness and the poverty of simplicity, the call to celibacy is unique to religious vocation. Chastity appears first in the list of vows in our Rule. One of the most prominent scholars of religious life today, Sr. Sandra Schneiders, IHM, sees this vow as primary to religious life, a symbol of the call to exclusive relationship to Jesus Christ. She defines consecrated celibacy as “the freely chosen response to a charismatically grounded, religiously motivated, sexually abstinent, lifelong commitment to Christ, externally symbolized by remaining unmarried.” So it is freely chosen. It is a gift of the Holy Spirit.
It is a promise freely made because I choose to make the relationship with Jesus primary in my life.
But the kicker is that, even with the call, even with the freely chosen response and with years of living the celibate life, we remain sexual beings. The vow does not turn that off. Not only do our bodies continue to act and respond in ways appropriate to our sexuality and gender, our minds and our psyches may have to revisit, from time to time, the hard reality of saying “No,” to sexual intimacy and procreation.
In our inter-novitiate class on the vows, Sr. Kitty Hanley, CSJ told us, “It is not a question of what you will do if you fall in love but rather what you will do WHEN you fall in love.” You might say, “Oh well, that doesn’t apply to us cloistered nuns. We don’t have the access to people that active religious do.” Well, I don’t believe that. We see priests, spiritual directors, doctors and physical therapists among others. We also live with other women on whom we can develop a teenage crush kind of thing. I have not had the experience of living with much younger new members but I imagine that adding them into the community mix can make for some interesting feelings in either direction – an older sister drawn to a younger one or a younger one idolizing her role model.
And then there is the physical reminder that can come now and then or more often; a physical sensation that serves to announce that I am still a female, a normal woman, embodied in the flesh and hard-wired for physical intimacy, mother nature’s way to preserve the species and give joy to the heart. Having the sensation does not sully my promise. Having the sensation is not a sin. It is as value neutral as any emotion. The real issue is “What do I do with this?” Is it an opportunity to put myself down or to feel guilty? Or is it an opportunity for awe and wonder at how beautifully we are made? And is it another chance to reverence my promise, the exclusivity of my relationship with Jesus Christ?"
In closing, I wanted to post yet another comment, this time by my friend Jean, (immediately in response to Sister):
------------------------------------------------------------
Sr Hildegard – Thanks for the lnk to the presentaton and your relay of the CSJ sister’s clarification that the question is not “if” but “when” celibate men and women will fall in love with another human being.
My spiritual director has said, to lay men and women as well as fellow clergy and religious men and women, “When you meet a man (or woman) with whom you could fall in love, greet that person…..and then go to home to the p(P)erson you have already chosen”. I love both the cHarity and cLarity of that statement.
Our hearts *will* love and our bodies will *want* to love, and we retain wholly undiminished free will to honor our commitments. And I believe that learning to celebrate love —-whenever it comes to us and without allowing later loves to lead to the violataton of existing vows ——— deepens and strengthens all loves, all vows in our lives. Love, I believe, is ALWAYS a gift; it is through the exercise of our free will that we either spoil that gift or give thanks. Jean
No comments:
Post a Comment